January 2012
15 posts
one of my favorites...
The Double Life
How very simple life would be
If only there were two of me
A Restless Me to drift and roam
A Quiet Me to stay at home.
A Searching One to find his fill
Of varied skies and newfound thrill
While sane and homely things are done
By the domestic Other One.
And that’s just where the trouble lies;
There is a Restless Me that cries
For chancy risks and changing scene,
For arctic blue and tropic green,
For deserts with their mystic spell,
For lusty fun and raising Hell,
But shackled to that Restless Me
My Other Self rebelliously
Resists the frantic urge to move.
It seeks the old familiar groove
That habits make. It finds content
With hearth and home — dear prisonment,
With candlelight and well-loved books
And treasured loot in dusty nooks,
With puttering and garden things
And dreaming while a cricket sings
And all the while the Restless One
Insists on more exciting fun,
It wants to go with every tide,
No matter where…just for the ride.
Like yowling cats the two selves brawl
Until I have no peace at all.
One eye turns to the forward track,
The other eye looks sadly back.
I’m getting wall-eyed from the strain,
(It’s tough to have an idle brain)
But One says “Stay” and One says “Go”
And One says “Yes,” and One says “No,”
And One Self wants a home and wife
And One Self craves the drifter’s life.
The Restless Fellow always wins
I wish my folks had made me twins.
my first sketch assignment
Two young men are sitting on a couch together, sprawled out and
looking extremely bored.
CHARACTER 1: Man, there is never anything interesting to do around
here. I just wish sometimes life could be more of an adventure. We
already had Dairy Queen twice today and snuck into the movies to see
Marley & Me. What else could we possibly do? This stinks.
ANNOUNCER: Looking for an adventure are you? Well then come on down to
Independence, Missouri and hop on your very own Conestoga wagon!
Oregon Trail: The Living Adventure awaits!
CHARACTER 1: Are you serious? Missouri sounds like the lamest. Anyway,
this sounds educational. Educational things are always the lamest.
Thanks for the suggestion. Not.
ANNOUNCER: Now hear me out! Is it educational? No way! What could
possibly be educational about you and your closest buddies getting to
pick cool alter-ego names and travel two thousand miles through
plains, rivers and mountains in order to find all the vast riches of
the west.
CHARACTER 2: Hmm, ok. But are there TVs and sweet video games in the wagon?
ANNOUNCER: Who needs TV when you can buy tons of ammo and shoot
buffalo and adorable bunnies and all kinds of other stuff all day?
CHARACTER 1: You get to shoot stuff? OK this does sound like fun!
ANNOUNCER: Just be careful to save some cash. Don’t blow it all on
ammo. You might need some cash to cross some rivers or take care of
your dying friend.
CHARACTER 1: Wait: dying friends? (hesitates) I don’t know about this anymore…
ANNOUNCER: Oh please! There are tons of towns along the way that you
can stop at to meet some new friends. They’re usually pretty nice and
they may even try to barter with you for some cool stuff like an ox or
some salted meats. Anyway, you even get to have a little funeral for
anyone who dies. The best part is: you can write whatever you want on
their tombstone! Also, usually at least one person dies of dysentery
and that’s actually kind of a funny way to go when you really think
about it.
CHARACTERS 1 & 2: Wow! Oregon Trail: The Living Adventure sounds super
awesome! Independence, Missouri, here we come!
ANNOUNCER (Said Very Quickly): Oregon Trail: The Living Adventure will
not be held responsible for any potential various causes of death such
as, but not limited to, measles, snakebite, dysentery, typhoid,
cholera, exhaustion, drowning as well as any broken body parts. The
sentiments expressed on any tombstone do not necessarily represent the
views of Oregon Trail: The Living Adventure. We actually thought Lenny
was a really nice guy and hope whoever wrote those mean things about
him gets what he deserves.
(Regular Voice) Oregon Trail: The Living Adventure! Manifest YOUR destiny!
a compassionate friend.
Andrew:
so you’re basically cooking because you’re bored and got nothing else to do?
me:
pretty much
make some stuff
store it for tomorrow
so i have food for the week ready
Andrew:
something about that seems so liz lemon
me:
everything in my life is
i made dinner for myself last week and put on 30 rock
and she said the line about disputing credit cards over dinner to feel like shes has someone shes eating with
i was so taken back
Andrew:
yeah i saw you posted that
me:
i was like “i do stuff like that too!!!”
Andrew:
haha forever alone
ok well it’s time for my 30 minute break
see you in a half hour
